Can I Help? Part I
by EternalSoulmate
Summary: Casey's having breakdowns and doesn't think she can fight it. Derek is the only one who knows. He wants to help if she'll let him. But can he?Part II is up!
1. Lost

**A/N: This shouldn't be too long of a story, but it's not a oneshot this time. Sorry, it IS a Dasey. First chapter is short, next one is longer.**

**Can I help?**

**_Lost_**

She was conscious of that feeling of insanity creeping up on her, slowly, slowly… until POUNCE. It was on top of her. She fought; she tried to control herself, but it was useless. She wasn't herself now. She was … lost. Lost inside this endless, limitless emotion, this black hole into which she had fallen once again. Her body shook with the effort she tried to enforce on herself to stop it, to fight it. Her hands clenched, nails digging into her palms until they were sticky with blood. Then she was kicking, shaking, pulling her hair on her bed; silent, silent like she always was. She smeared the blood from her hands on her bare legs, her neck, her stomach. Sense was lost to her; emotion was all she had- an overload of emotion. She hopped off her bed and ripped her comforter from it, destroying the perfect picture of her perfectly organized room. She wanted nothing more than to tear it to shreds…and away went the comforter. Through the still falling stuffing and feathers, blowing around from the fan, she walked to the mirror on her dresser, staring into it, seeing a wild-eyed girl… she saw fear in her eyes, fear, anger, sadness, _anguish_. One swift fist, the shatter of glass, pain in her hand and suddenly she came falling back to herself. With a cry, she fell to her floor and looked around at the mess, the cotton and glass littering the ground, and finally she was able to let the tears flow.

"Case?" a confused, concerned voice came from at her door. Her face whipped around.

It was Derek.


	2. Stories and Lies

**a/n: A bit longer, like I promised! Oh and since I forgot last time: I do not own Life with Derek... yet. I'm still trying to get the producer on the phone. ;-)**

Can I Help?

_Stories and Lies_

Case looked so scared, so panicked. He didn't know what else to do. "Nora…" he yelled over his shoulder, somewhat distracted and never looking away from Casey, away from those eyes. "Nora!" he cried again, more insistent, this time leaning out the doorway.

Nora came running up the stairs. "Derek, what is it?" her voice echoed the worry shown on her face. Derek couldn't find words. He just pointed, somewhat shaken, into Casey's room. "Casey…" was all he could murmur.

Nora pushed past him hurriedly. "Oh my God, Casey," the girl's mom gasped and ran over to her, kneeling and gently taking Casey's bloodied hand into her own to inspect it. "What happened, honey?"

Casey looked up at Derek, her eyes pleading but her lips' only motion a slight quiver. Without knowing what he was doing he quickly said, "We uh… we were fighting and we … ripped the blanket… and uh… she was going to hit me but I moved out of the way and she… hit the mirror."

He didn't know why he did it. It was something in Casey's eyes… He had no time to contemplate it before Nora's look turned murderous and she, as calmly as she could, told Derek to go to his room.

The bathroom light was too bright. She wanted to close her eyes, she just wanted to curl up and sleep. At a distance she could hear her mom muttering and sighing, the words 'Oh, Casey…' said often. Casey watched, without really seeing, her mom trying to pick all of the pieces of mirror out of her hand. She didn't move, she didn't speak; she only watched. The feeling hadn't completely left her yet. The primal insanity had gone, but the lost, numbness was still there… Was it really necessary to keep that blinding light on?

Then her mom stuck her cut up hand under the running tap. The cold stinging forced a gasp from Casey's mouth and she was shocked back to herself. The numbness began ebbing away. Nora looked up from Casey's hand.

"You must have one heck of a right hook," she said dryly, "You did quite a number to your hand." Casey laughed nervously and looked away.

"Now don't think that I'm not angry at you for fighting- _again_- with Derek. I am, and I'm thoroughly disappointed in you," Nora's gaze was stern while she looked Casey in the eye. She went back to cleaning her daughter's hand. "_But_, I think that your hand is enough punishment." Casey tried to give a small smile. "Besides… I know how Derek does tend to intentionally start things. I can't blame you for breaking this one time."

Casey couldn't bring herself to agree. Not this time, not when she knew that, for once, this wasn't Derek's fault. She wouldn't look at her mom; she never was able to look at her mom when she lied. She always felt too ashamed.

"I trust that this won't happen again, Casey," Nora stated after she finished wrapping the bandage. Casey smiled a Casey smile, said 'Of course not' in the right Casey way, and went off to her room to sleep. There was school tomorrow.

**a/n...part two: Review and feedback are always appreciated. Constructive criticism welcome; flames will be used to roast babies. Ta!**

**:-)**


	3. Reputations

**Disclaimer**: **Nothing recognizable from the show is mine, but on the flip side the producer's secretary finally called me back and we're in the process of setting up an appointment. ;-)**

**A/N**: Before anything, I have to say sorry... I'm fighting with It won't let me upload anything from Microsoft Word. Otherwise this chapter would have been out sooner and you may even have been able to read the fourth already!... or maybe I should have thought to upload it from a different program sooner... Ah, well, the show must go on :-)

Can I Help?

_Reputations_

"Oh my God, Case, what happened to your hand?" Emily shrieked in her way when they met up at their lockers in the morning.

Casey got herself worked up in the proper 'Augh Derek' way and used Derek's story. After all, it was less complicated if there was only one story out there. And really, she wasn't going to be telling her what _really_ happened. Then the whole school would know what a psycho she really was. As if she needed a new nickname. Grade-grubber still hadn't died out yet. As long as she stuck with one story, nobody would think otherwise and the only person who would know it wasn't true was her.

And Derek.

_Shit._ She had to find Derek before he started a new laugh-at-Casey story himself.

Two periods and five detention threats later, Casey was practically going crazy waiting for her stepbrother. She bit her nails nervously. What if she didn't see him in the halls this period either? He usually walked down this hallway after second, but what if he didn't? What if by then he had told everyone in homeroom, everyone in first period, _and_ everyone in second period? That would be over sixty people! Her life could very well be over already and she didn't even know it!

Right before she had driven herself legally insane with worry, she heard a couple voices with the usual 'hey Derek!'s and her heart leapt. Maybe she still had a chance to save her reputation after all.

"Derek," Casey pulled him off to the side of the hallway, putting on her normal 'I-hate-you-and-I'd-rather-be-eating-bugs-than-talking-to-you-but-I-have-no-choice.'

"Jeez, Case. Lay off the jacket. And I'd rather not be seen with you in school. I don't like people know I'm related to you," he quipped, letting no sign of his concern be seen.

"Likewise. But there's something I need to discuss with you." Derek gave her his 'get-on-with-it' look and leaned against the locker next to him. "You didn't tell anybody about last night did you?"

A freshman scurried past them through the almost empty hallway, no doubt scared of being late. Neither noticed him, nor anybody else. Derek stared at her, his expression a calculated boredom, "Uh… let me think… no, I don't think so…"

Casey shoved him against the locker, holding the collar of his shirt and ignoring the pain coursing up her arm. "What do you MEAN you don't _think_ so?"

"I mean," he took her by her wrists and pulled her off of him, "that I don't think I did."

"You mean you _could have?_" she shrieked, ready to pounce on him and scratch his good for nothing eyes out.

He rubbed his ears. "Jeez, way to deafen me, sis. No, I didn't tell anybody."

Casey visibly relaxed and crossed her arms in what turned out looking more like a defensive position than confident. "Oh… good. Well look at that, gotta get to class!" She turned, ready to run to her next class, wanting to get as far away from him as possible. He connected her to last night and she just couldn't be near someone who could do that.

"Wait," he grabbed her arm. "Case… what really happened?"

She looked up at him and saw not the bored, greater-than-thee expression, but one of concern. For a split second when he looked at her, he saw that pleading look again, that look of fear. Then the bell rang and she tore her arm from his grasp and ran to class.

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**a/n:** Thank you to those that reviewed. It's your words that make me feel like it's worth continuing, even if it is only a couple of you- so thank you. hands out mini virtual stickers

The next chapter is written and ready to go as long as I get lots of good response! So don't hesitate to hit that little review button :-) And don't forget- flames will be used to burn down the houses of those who flame! xD


	4. Breakdowns

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life with Derek, but I've sat down with the producers and tried to discuss why they should let me buy in... The restrainer order came in this morning... I'll be getting my lawyer on this though, so don't worry!

Can I help?

_Breakdowns_

She avoided being alone with Derek successfully, and almost avoided him all together, which was harder due to living conditions. Everyone had accepted the Derek-Casey fight story and said nothing else of her hand. Once again she was just Casey: Grade-grubber, Casey: Klutzilla, Casey: _perfect_. She continued studying, passing tests, passing classes, and organizing her room- the only place in her house possible of organizing. And again, slowly, the feeling came back.

The past couple days she had had moments of weirdness- the only way anybody who witnessed it could describe it. They were moments where her eyes would go distant and she wouldn't freak out when Nora and George mixed up whose turn it was to food shop or pick up the kids. Or moments when the slightest thing would make her flip out on everybody until she would leave the room in a huff and sit, staring at the tv, obviously not really seeing it.

George and Edwin would pass these things off as, "Eh… girl problems." Nora and Lizzie decided she was just over stressing herself and she'd be back to herself after a good rest. Only Derek was truly irked by her behaviour. He wouldn't show it, except maybe in his cutting down on picking fights with her, and everyone just thought that was due to the hand incident.

Then one night Casey sat in front of her broken mirror, brushing her hair and staring into it thinking: it's just like me… broken.

She had been thinking thoughts like that randomly lately. She could feel it coming upon her, but she still wasn't ready for it. This time it started with tears, not just ended with them. She began to cry, calmly first, just letting them stream down her face. Then the sobs started, quietly of course. Always quietly. She buried her head in her forearms and pulled her hair. Her body shook first with sobs, then with that primal feeling, and for the first time during a breakdown she left her room.

Derek's door swung open and he sat up groggily. "Wha…"

"I hate you, Derek," Casey cried, her voice quavering. She was hitting him in the chest, the arms, and the stomach before he could even register that she was there. He grabbed her wrists and she thrashed violently against him, her hair flying.

"Casey!" His voice seemed as loud as a yell, but he had barely even spoken. She stopped fighting him and just stood there, shaking, tears dripping off her cheeks, and panting. Her lips parted with a whimper and she fell to her knees at the side of his bed, rocking back and forth. He quickly climbed out of bed and knelt next to her to see her yanking at her hair and scratching at her skin. He pulled her hands away from her body with this frantic feeling of urgency, as if she might claw through her body if he didn't stop her right away.

Not knowing what else to do, he pulled her into his arms roughly and rocked her, murmuring softly into her hair. He felt her little body quaking in his arms. He had never thought of her as delicate. Now he was terrified that he would crush her if he held her too tight, but even more afraid that if he didn't hold her tight enough she'd fall away into an endless abyss forever.

He had never felt the fear that he felt that night. That was the fear he saw in her eyes that night, he realized.

Derek pulled away just enough to look into her face. She was a mess. Her hair stuck to her face where the tears had flooded her skin, her eyes were bloodshot with dark circles around them and she was too pale. He took that face in his hands and said, "Is this what happened to your hand?" What he had meant was, "Can I help?"

She heard his question.

She nodded slowly and clung to him, burying her face now in his chest instead of her own arms and shook in his arms instead of alone. She could feel herself calming down. Maybe she could be okay.

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**a/n:** I just want to thank my reviewers again, I love hearing everything from you guys. Thank you! And of course, virtual cookies (not the ones stored in your computers... I'm not spying on you, I swear) to you all :-D

Remember, constructive critism is always welcomed, but flame givers beware! Flames will be used to cook that lovely goldfish of yours... Mmm, fish. :-)


	5. NotsoSick Days

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life with Derek, but I talked to my lawyer... seems he can't do anything about this restraining order, but it'll be up soon! Then I will continue my quest to control the Great Derek Venturi! Mwah ha ha 

**Can I help?**

_Not-so-Sick Days_

In the morning she woke up feeling…refreshed. She was tucked under the blanket her mom had given her as a replacement for her comforter and her fan was blowing lightly on her face. For the first time in a while she felt truly Casey.

Then she remembered last night. Oh god, last night… Derek knew everything now. He wouldn't let her live it down. He'd dub her a new nickname. He'd tell everybody at school! After all, now he witnessed it! Psycho-girl strikes again!

Wait… it was a school day, what time was it? She looked at the clock to see that it was ten o'clock. She was about to panic when she realized that nobody had even come in to wake up her.

"What…" Casey exhaled loudly and plopped back onto her pillow. There was no use rushing now, it was too late to bother going to school. It felt good, she decided, to not have to worry about being on time to anything. She could lay here as long as she wished, then get up and eat a nice breakfast without the chaos that is the Venturi-McDonald household.  
When she finally made it downstairs, still in her pajamas, she found two notes. One was from her mom. _Feel better sweetie. I made sure there was some of your favourite tea in the cabinet. I'll be home at lunch to check on you. Call if you need anything. –Mom_ The other was from… Derek? _I won't tell anybody. Don't worry. –D_

Casey smiled and felt the little bit of the weight left on her shoulders float away. Pancake time! It was ages since she had some good ol' pancakes. They used to be her favourite breakfast…and lunch…and dinner when she was little. She didn't know why she had let herself get away from them.

As she lowered herself onto the couch, she remembered why she had stopped eating pancakes and groaned. "I am way. Too. Full," Casey complained to herself, smiling. Besides the overly stuffed stomach, she felt good. She spent the rest of the day lounging on the couch under a fuzzy blanket, sipping her tea and reading Pride and Prejudice until her mom came home.

"Aw hey, sweetie. How are you feeling?" Nora engulfed Casey in a hug.

Casey laughed, "I'm fine, Mom. Thanks for the tea."

"No problem… I mean, when Derek said you weren't feeling well..."

Casey paused, her cup of tea held midair, "Derek told you?"

"I was surprised too. Maybe it really isn't too late for you two to get along," Nora put her arm around her daughter and gave her a little hug. "Can I get you anything, sweetie?"

Casey smiled and shook her head, "I'm fine, thanks."

She could barely believe it. Derek was responsible for two things which made her happy today. That was more than he'd done for her the entire time she lived there. She couldn't stop the smile on her face, and she didn't want to. Maybe he wasn't so terrible after all, she thought and went back to reading. Just like Darcy…

"Honey, I'm sorry but I've got to get back to work. The kids'll be home soon and Lizzie already said she would help you with anything you needed. I'll see you in a few hours," Nora kissed her hair and was gone. And for the first time all week she didn't feel alone, unwanted, and lost. She felt fine. She was fine. The realization made her smile…again.

The high school gets out about an hour before the elementary school at two twenty. At two twenty-two exactly, Derek arrived home. Casey laughed.

"What'd you do, Derek, teleport home?" she joked. Derek smirked one of his trademark smirks and threw his backpack down, plopping into his recliner.

"Well, hockey's on, what do you expect?" he grabbed the remote from the coffee table and began switching through the channels. Casey felt a little bit of that happiness slip away when he said that, but she didn't know why. Why would it matter what Derek rushed home for? It never did before.

But nobody had taken care of her the way he had last night. She just hadn't been able to keep herself from hoping that maybe he was that nice guy she'd seen three times in the past two days. Maybe she was wrong for hoping… maybe he wasn't a Darcy, but a lousy, lying Wickham.

Then she realized something. "Derek…" she said with a smirk of her own, "Hockey at two twenty in the afternoon?"

He made attempts to save himself. "Uh… you know… there're recaps from the game I missed last night…" She raised an eyebrow.

"Fine," he pulled the lever, putting the recliner up-right, "I wanted to check on you. I was… I was worried, alright?"

She laughed at the way he had confessed exactly what she had wanted to hear. He couldn't keep an embarrassed smile from his face, then a genuinely happy smile. She was laughing. He could see joy in her eyes, joy where he had seen things he never wanted to see again.

"Besides," he added dramatically, with a sigh, "I'm heldth captive in mine house for another dreadful fortnight."

Casey smacked him in the face with the pillow next to her, laughing. "You do know that a fortnight isn't a night in a fort, right? I think you can take that little fort in your room down now."

He grinned and a pillow flew into Casey's face as a reply.

When Lizzie came in the door, expecting a sick sister asking her for soup and slippers, she was surprised as to what she did see. A happy, perfectly well sister laughing… with the one person said sister supposedly hated.

"Casey?" Lizzie said slowly, standing near the door. "Are you okay?"

Casey greeted Lizzie with a huge smile, "I'm fine, Liz. Why?"

"It's just… you're talking…and laughing… with Derek," she watched her sister in confusion. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, Lizzie. I'm _fine_!" Casey rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at her little sister.

Edwin came in, stared at the two older siblings in shock, then at Lizzie. Lizzie muttered 'Don't ask' and the two of them went upstairs.

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**a/n:** I'm sort of iffy on this chapter (which is sad because it's my LONGEST chapter yet!), so make sure to feel free to tell me just what you think of it and how to improve it! And of course I must thank all of you that keep coming back and reading my little story! Thank you, loyal readers!  
Special thanks to all those who review- you are my motivation! Pretty painted pictures to you all:-D Next chapter should be up soon, depending on those reviews. ;-) so don't be shy!  
Love to all- Ta!


	6. Rumours

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek... but by the end of the week, I'll be able to talk to the producers again! And don't worry... I have an excellent plan.**

**a/n:** In this story, Sam and Casey aren't dating anymore. However, they did at one time date and are now broken up.

And before I get into the story... iluvhsm-Sprntrl-LWD-Sville13 - I tried messaging you the answer to your question a while ago, did you not receive it? Could you check one more time...and if you haven't gotten it, I _promise_ I'll answer you next chapter, okay :-)

**Can I Help?**

_Rumours_

Casey was _not_ having a good day. She fell asleep with her hair wet so it was now sticking every which way, she left her homework at home so she now had detention after school, Emily was sick, and now she couldn't seem to get her books together without dropping them. And yet through it all, she wasn't breaking down and flipping out. The most she'd done was rant to Paul for a few minutes, and then went to class.

"Augh!" she let out a frustrated cry as yet another book slipped to the ground. When she bent to pick it up, two more fell. "Good for nothing books… Do you _want_ to meet a match?" Somebody stared at her strangely. "What!" she snapped. "Do YOU want to carry them?" The kid quickly turned away.

"Hey Casey," Sam called, splitting away from Derek. He bent and gathered her books, taking the ones from her arms as well. "Let me carry them."

Casey looked up, caught between a good nervous and the desire to just run away. Allowing the more positive of the two feelings take over, she grinned and tucked her hair behind her ear, "Thanks Sam."

Somebody passing snickered and they heard, "Don't let Derek catch you."

Sam and Casey looked at each other. "You'd think they'd get over that whole male-code fight… it was ages ago."

"I can tell you first hand, they don't forget easily in this school. I should know," Casey answered dryly when someone whispered 'grub' in her direction. Derek had stopped them from being loud about the nickname, but had failed to stop it all together.

"Watch out, Derek might get jealous!" another student called out in pseudo worry as the two walked past.

"What's with these people?" Sam said annoyed.

Casey waved her hand, "Just ignore them, it's easier. …This is my stop." She turned to face him and leaned in for a kiss. Remembering herself she stopped and blushed a bright red, muttering sorry and walking into class quickly. She heard Sam laugh a little, then, "Don't be, Case!"

She couldn't help but smile, until a bimbo-y, bubbly voice forced its way into her ears. Her smile vanished and it felt as if her heart stopped.

"So I heard you hooked up with Derek Venturi."

Derek muttered curses under his breath as he rushed to open his hockey locker and tear off his shirt. He was late. He knew he was late. He glanced around him quickly and groaned. He was so late that there wasn't even anybody else in the locker room. That was a bad sign; the boys usually joked around for five or ten minutes longer than coach liked. Well, _he_ was going to be doing extra laps.

"DEREK!" a high pitched scream came from behind him and he whirled around before he could register that he was in the _guy's locker room_ and a girl had just screamed his name. Not in the good way either…and not just any girl. He had whirled around to be face to face with Casey McDonald.

"Uh… Case! You do know that you're in the guy's locker room, right?" Derek babbled nervously, trying to cover himself clumsily.

"I DON 'T CARE !" the angry teenager yelled. "I JUST SPENT SIX CLASSES TRYING TO CONVINCE PEOPLE THAT I DID NOT ' HOOK UP' WITH YOU!"

Derek tripped over his pants, which he was in the process of trying to pull up. "You WHAT?"

"Honestly, I KNEW I shouldn't have expected anything from you, you- you- AUGH!" She threw her hands in the air, unable to think of an insult foul enough to describe him.

Now thoroughly confused, with his pants halfway up, sitting on the locker room floor, Derek stared up at Casey. "What are you TALKING about!"

"How can you _ask_ me what I'm TALKING about! Is this something you do so often that you can't even _remember_ it anymore?" Casey yelled, standing over him. "I mean, GOD, you're so _low_!"

"First of all," Derek started, annoyed, and stood up with his pants around his ankles. He had been surprised at first, but the shock was wearing off and _nobody_ talked to Derek Venturi like that. He pushed her (gently) down onto the bench. "Sit down and shut the fuck up."

Casey fell into sitting position onto the wooden bench and slammed her mouth shut, taken aback by his language.

One of his trademark smirks appeared on his face and he continued, "Now that you're not shrieking like a banshee… tell me what you're talking about."

She pursed her lips and crossed her arms. "Don't you dare try to act inn-"

"Uh-uh," he bent until he was eye level with her and stuck his index finger out, telling her to be quiet. "Don't accuse me; don't yell at me. Just tell me what it is that was so important that you had to barge in on me in the locker room and make me late…. –er to practice."

"You told people that we slept together."

"WHAT?" Derek plopped down next to her, doubled over in a fit of laughter.

"This isn't funny, Derek!" Casey yelled, jumping up.

Derek sobered himself enough to stand up, take her arm and guide her back down to the bench. "You're right, you're right. I'm sorry. It's not… funny," he couldn't keep himself from cracking a smile at the very end. "But Case," his face turned serious, "Case, I didn't say that. I've never said that about anybody. That's low even for me, as you say."

"Then… who said it?" Casey looked so drained now. She had nobody that she knew of to blame and it made her feel so… helpless. Derek felt like he had to say something; he had to make her smile. That was his job, he decided- to make sure she never got down like this. Keep her happy or keep her fighting him, but never let her get that dejected look she had at present.

"Maybe it was someone who likes to fantasize about us together," he joked, wiggling his eyebrows and nudging her.

"Ew, Derek!" she laughed and punched him in the arm, trying to sound disgusted.

He laughed as well and rubbed his arm, "Hey, watch it… I'm still a little sore from the other night!"

From up the aisle came a, "Oh, I uh… I'm sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt" and the student scurried away. Casey and Derek looked at each other, gaping, then down at Derek's pants around his ankles. Casey covered her face with a cry and Derek leaned over, burying his head in his arms.

Simultaneously they groaned, "Oh no…"

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**a/n:** I was going to end this chapter at the star, but I decided that that was way too short for my wonderful readers... so I kept going and... I hope ya'll like it:-P  
And once again I must thank all of my readers, and especially my reviewers. I love you all! Paper flowers to each and every one of you! (does anybody else remember that paper flower fad?)   
Ta:-)


	7. Talk

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek… but I've sent the producers beautiful flowers with a note…. You know, to butter them up a bit. They'll be putty in my hands by the time I meet with them again!**

**a/n:** Before anything, I must take this time to answer poor **iluvhsm-Sprntrl-LWD-Sville13** who has waited so long! Whether Casey's problem is 'serious' or not is a matter of opinion.. however, since I think you had said something about her being schizophrenic or something like that earlier- it's nothing like that. She just… isn't really able to deal with an abundance of emotions and such without getting overwhelmed. She doesn't really know any way to release these feelings, so she ends up breaking down to get them all out. I hope I answered your question satisfactorily and it doesn't disappoint you too much! And sorry for taking so long with your answer. :-)

And a happy Labor Day weekend to you all! Now.. on to the story!

**Can I Help?**

_Talk_

Derek had a full schedule the next day at school and Casey had seen him surprisingly little, and spoke with him less. At one point they had run into each other, but before Casey could even get out a "Hey," he was looking over her shoulder, telling her he'd see her later, and trotting off down the hall.

It upset her. She didn't like being brushed off by anybody; especially not somebody who, when they did it, made her think it was because of her deepest secret. She was embarrassed- did he think she was a psycho? The idea made her shudder and draw into herself. She could have dealt with him making fun of her, or being freaked out by it. Then she could have just joked and yelled it off. But for him to act like he cared, to take care of her and be nice to her how he had, and then to practically ignore her? She didn't know if she could take that.

Depression began to overtake her, as worst case scenarios plagued her mind and she just stood in the middle of the hallway, forgetting what she was doing.

"Hey, Case," she heard Sam behind her and turned around. Sam gestured in the direction of their next class, "Can I walk you to class?"

From down the hall, Derek looked up from the kid he was talking to and stared for a moment before stalking off toward his stepsister and best friend.

Casey shook her head to snap herself out of the haze she had found herself in and put on a smile. Sam looked disappointed. "No?" he asked sounding surprised, and at the same time surprisingly small.

Casey's eyes widened and she reached out, "No, no… I'd really like it if you did!"

Sam smiled and took her books for her. And Derek took them from him.

"Case, hey, thanks for waiting," Derek acted, putting her arm around her. "I just had to take care of something." He spoke distracted, watching Casey's eyes and seeing the emotions inside of them. "On second thought…" Derek said, giving both Casey's and his books to Sam, "Sam, could you bring these to French? Case and I are gonna be a few minutes late."

Sam looked between the two of them confused. "Those rumours about you two… they're not _true_, are they?"

Casey and Derek stopped in their tracks.

"Sam, bro. Use some sense for once. Me and Casey? You've got to know that's not true," Derek said, taking his arm from around Casey and throwing it around Sam, steering him aside a bit, "I do, however, need to speak with her right now. You know, family stuff."

Sam nodded, "Sure, man."

"Oh and Sam?" Derek called over his shoulder as Casey and he began to walk toward the stairwell. "Next time you hear anybody saying anything like that, tell them it's untrue… and convince them in any way necessary."

Casey sat on the stairway, understanding that he took her here because he knew something was wrong, but puzzled in the change in attitude. Derek sat down next to her, seeing that she was confused on top of upset and not getting why she was so confused. First priority, he decided, was to find out why she was so upset. Then she'd let him know why she was confused.

"Case…" he prodded, nudging her gently. He knew that she knew why he steered her off to talk. He didn't think he'd have to actually ask.

"What?" she asked stubbornly, holding her chin high. Okay… maybe he was going to have to ask. Sometimes he didn't understand why girls made things so difficult.

"Casey, what's wrong?" he sighed, worried. She looked away. She didn't want to talk; she didn't want to tell him that his brushing her off had really hurt, because it wasn't supposed to hurt… but he wasn't supposed to do _this,_ taking her away to talk, either.

"Case, you can talk to me. You said you'd let me help, so let me. Talk to me," he pleaded. If he didn't get her to talk to him now, this could get worse. This little bit of depression he'd seen in her eyes could blow up and end in the type of breakdown he'd witnessed the other night.

Concentrating on the brick corner to their left, she sighed and closed her eyes. "The way you treated me today hurt," she confessed, reluctantly. She waited for him to say something, to get defensive, to insult her. He didn't. He just sat, his legs slightly apart and hands folded comfortably, listening intently and never looking away.

Casey continued in a rush, "It hurt the way you totally blew me off today when we had been able to laugh together yesterday and- and the other day you had been so nice and told mom I wasn't feeling well to get me a day off from school because you KNEW that I'd never do something like that, no matter how much I needed it, because I would never admit that I needed it because I can't miss school! And then how the night before that, how you were so understanding and you didn't mock me and call me a psycho freak and you just held me and calmed me and CARED. And then today suddenly you don't care anymore. I'm just that annoying stepsister who you have to live with and can't stand and…"

Casey couldn't keep her voice from faltering. When had she turned into this?

Derek pulled her closer with one arm and waited, silently, for a minute until he knew that she had pulled herself together enough.

"Case," he started softly, "I wasn't trying to blow you off today. I… Look, I was trying to undo that stupid rumour while getting to the bottom of who started it. I've been running around all day, person to person, thinking I'm getting closer to the source until I realize it was another circle… You know, you gossiping teenage girls not only make my job incredibly hard, but you tell everything to _everybody_. Just trying to find out who they heard it from, I've found out that Tim Olsen ate a live goldfish, then puked it up whole, Kat Brennan slept with her cousin, Jenna Miller had a hole in her pants all day yesterday and she was wearing Mickey Mouse underwear, and Clyde Conner finally got together with Connie Murphy."

Derek took a deep breath, having said the last part in one breath. Casey laughed.

"Ah! I like to see that," Derek grinned, gently poking her smiling face. "So you feeling a little better now?" he asked, resting his head on hers.

"Yeah." She paused, her face a softened seriousness. "Derek, I don't understand you."

He looked down at her curiously.

"Everything about your personality and my past experiences with you say that

you should have turned and run when I came to you. But you didn't. You took me in your arms and told me you were here for me. …Why?" she turned to him, searching for answers.

He looked away. He didn't know why either. It had just been… that night he had seen her slouched there amoung the stuffing and broken glass, staring up at him in this fear that he had never seen before. He couldn't just make fun of that, and he couldn't turn his back. He had tried, he really had. Once he was forced to his room he had tried to forget it, but he couldn't. He attempted to act normal in school with her the next day, but every time he saw her he flashed back to that look in her eyes.

He thought he could deal with it, that he could forget it eventually… but then she had come into his room and he realized- he couldn't run away from this. It wasn't some stupid little problem; this was big. If he turned away, who would keep her from being lost forever in the blackness of her mind which consumed her at times? It wouldn't get better alone; she needed somebody. He may be an egotistical jerk sometimes, but he couldn't just stand by and knowingly watch somebody lose themselves in a sense of hopeless darkness. Especially not somebody he knew to be as strong a woman as Casey.

Derek glanced back at Casey, getting up. "We have to get to class. Come on…" he muttered.

Casey pursed her lips and got up. "If you're going to do this again, fine," she said angrily, walking away. Derek grabbed her arm.

He pulled her closer to him, keeping his grip on her upper arm and stared her in the eye, his own slightly pleading. "Please don't question this, Case. I don't know. You're right; it's out of character for me. And you know what? I did try to not care, but I can't. For once, I _do_ care. Don't ask me why because I don't know why, and I don't want to know why. Didn't you mother tell you not to question a good thing?"

With that, he released her arm and walked to class.

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**a/n:** This MIGHT be my longest chapter now? I just hope it was okay and ya'll like it! Thanks to all my readers, chocolate to you all! Except if you're allergic… then you get gum. And my reviewers- cue gushing!- you are all amazing. Thank you so much, I love hearing from you.

I'll try to get the next chapter out, and the more reviews I get, the faster I'll work! You know the drill. :-P


	8. Protective

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek, but I called one of the producer's pretty. I just received flowers from him today. My plan shall work!**

**Can I Help?**

_Protective_

For once, Casey took Derek's advice and stopped questioning. He was right; she was happy that he was doing this for her, and she wasn't going to go and spoil it by asking why. She no longer even asked herself why she was glad he was like this. It didn't matter why; it only mattered that it was causing her to feel much better.

They still fought now, sure- often over the remote or something stupid that Derek had said. But instead of the screaming, wrestling matches ending in one of them, usually Casey, storming out, they would make up. The Venturi-McDonald residence wasn't going to be seeing a shortage of screaming and wrestling any time soon, they figured. However, the stepsiblings' parents noted, the making up was definitely a start.

Nobody knew that almost every night, Casey would sneak into Derek's room to talk. Casey didn't have to be upset to tiptoe over to the door at the end of the hallway. In fact, it was these nighttime chats that kept her from getting upset. It was like her own little therapy. Paul had practically been replaced by this, and to Derek it wasn't even a job. He enjoyed talking with her as much as she was happy to talk to him.

At first it had started when she had felt herself starting to become snappy. The rumours were really starting to bother her. She would walk down the hallway and hear people whispering about her; or worse, she would have to hear them publicly tease and insult her, leering at her and saying that maybe she hurt her hand some _other_ way. What finally brought her to almost breaking point, what sent her to Derek's room that first night, was when one of the senior hockey team had the audacity to come up to her blatantly saying that she should sleep with him because, come on, she slept with Derek.

"Derek… I can't take it anymore. I just… I know that any second I'm just going to break and I'm going to hit the bottom," Casey confessed to him that night, close to tears.

He sat across from her on his bed, both of them clad in their pajamas. He didn't want to cross the line and touch her, although god knows, all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her whenever he saw even just traces of tears in her eyes.

Instead, he gently asked her what had happened and they talked out the bad emotions. Before that day, neither of them would have guessed that it would be a ritual between them to talk before bed each night, just like this… but after that night, neither of them could have imagined it any other way. Casey had found a way to control her feelings, a way to be herself again. And Derek had found a way to help her do so.

-

Sam had begun walking Casey to class an awful lot, Derek noticed. He had allowed Sam to date her once, but he had blown it… what was with this chaperoning to class nonsense? He wasn't allowed a second chance; no, Derek would not permit that. He would just hurt her again- he didn't care what she said, she had been hurt by the break up- and then Derek would have to pick up the pieces.

"Casey, I don't like what's going on with you and Sam," Derek skipped all pretense, leaning against Casey's doorway. Casey, who had looked up from her bed with a smile ready to greet him, now frowned.

"What are you talking about, Derek," she said, more than asked, sounding fed up already.

"I see him walking you to class every day, carrying your books. He's acting like your goddamn boyfriend. I'm surprised he's not tripping over his TONGUE when he's with you," Derek spat, unable to hide his dislike of his friend's actions.

"Derek!" Casey laughed, somewhat teasingly. "It sounds like you're jealous!"

Derek rolled his eyes and looked away. "I am not," he muttered.

"You are!" she cried disbelievingly, getting up. "You're jealous."

"Look, I was just trying to look out for you- so sue me. I just don't care to see you get hurt again, okay?" And with that he turned and strode away, taking the stairs two at a time.

"Well you don't have to, because there's nothing going on between Sam and me!" she yelled down the stairs.

Derek just mumbled 'whatever,' grabbed his coat, and slammed the front door.

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**a/n:** Apologies for the shortness of this chapter! I'll try to make the next chapter longer, promise. Thank you everybody and _especially_ all of my regular reviewers! Chocolate popcorn to you:-D

Don't forget to review! Constructive criticism is always welcome. :-)

Ta!


	9. Alone

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek… but I think I might have an in… my plan proceeds!**

**Can I Help?**

_Alone_

Derek didn't come home that night. Probably not a smart move on his part, he knew, but he couldn't get himself to go back yet. He needed to do one of two things first: either figure some things out, or forget about them. And for once in the past couple weeks, he was true to form. He opted to forget about them.

When he had walked out, he had planned on just walking and cooling down. He was angry and didn't understand why. Maybe, he thought, because stupid Casey won't listen to me when I'm just trying to look out for her! The walking to cool down? Yeah, that wasn't working.

Vaguely he remembered one of his hockey buddies talking about a party he was throwing tonight. He could go there, talk to some chicks, and forget all about Casey and her stupid stubbornness problem. With that decided, he flipped up the collar on his leather jacket and headed off in the direction of his friend's house.

When Derek had stormed off, Casey had frowned, stuck between a mix of sadness and anger. To save herself from an incredibly hard couple of hours, that's the tops she figured Derek would be out for, she consciously decided to let her anger dominate her instead of the sadness. She slammed her door with a frustrated cry and consoled herself by muttering about how stupid Derek was sometimes, trying to work up some of her old hatred for him- just to get through the time, if for nothing else.  
-

Casey climbed back onto her bed, ready to attempt to get back to her schoolwork. She always buried herself in work when she could do nothing else; it used to help calm her down and get her mind off of things. She was disappointed when she had to fidget, shake her hands out, and force herself to concentrate to start working. Usually she would just dive right in. _Well_, she figured, _maybe I just need to start and then it'll be full speed ahead_. Hoping for this, she leaned in close and began reading her math problem.

"Okay… Derek-" Casey gritted her teeth. His name was in the problem. Weren't the names in math books supposed to be crazy 'cultural' ones which nobody could pronounce or know whether it was male or female?

She exhaled roughly and continued, "Derek has a newspaper route for which he collects k dollars each day… from this amount, he pays out k/3 dollars per day for the cost of the papers…"

Casey snorted. "He wouldn't pay for the papers, he'd charm them out of the company for free… and he wouldn't do the route himself, he'd probably get his whores or worshippers to do it for him. Then he could get the money without the work. Classic Derek," she ranted, her anger growing as she spoke as if this was something he truly did.

Realizing that she wasn't getting anything done, only obsessing more, she snapped her mouth, and her book, shut. Math wasn't working for her tonight; maybe some good ol' science could clear her head- or at the very least, distract her. At least in science Derek's name couldn't come up. Unless, of course, he was one of the example experiments, she joked to herself, opening her biology book.  
-

By the time Derek got to the address, it looked as if the party was in full swing. He smirked, stepping into the house. Loud music, babes… hockey in the living room- everything was here to help him forget about Casey, and he was determined to do so. Not wasting a second, he glided over to a sexy little blonde and gave her one of his smoothest lines. She turned and giggled, looking him up and down with one of those 'shy' looks girls give. Inwardly, he sighed contently. Tonight would be an easy night.

"You've got to be _kidding_ me," Casey muttered in half disbelief, half frustration as she began the short story assigned for English. She forced herself to shut up and pursed her lips tightly, as she turned the page, reading. By the near-end of the story, she couldn't take it anymore and threw the book across the room, crossing her arms with a huff.

Of all the names in the world, she just had to be plagued with this one. The main character in the lovely little story she had no choice but to read, was a man (_at least that was one difference_, she thought to herself) named Derek. She had been able to urge herself through it up until 'Derek' storms out of the house angrily after a fight with his girlfriend and is hit by a car. As much as she refused to admit it, reading that had sparked a little bit of worry that something might happen to Derek in real life.

Of course, she hid the thought with her temper instead of acknowledging it; to acknowledge it would leave her vulnerable to what she knew she couldn't deal with on her own. And so, the books on her bed flew to the floor as Casey promptly swept them all from the bed with one angry swing and a growl. She let out a rush of air and blew the hair from her face, right in time to see Lizzie peer through the door and glance at the mess on the floor.

"Uhh… Dinner's ready, Casey…" Lizzie informed her, slightly hesitantly, before scurrying back downstairs to the table.  
-

Derek should have been having the time of his _life_. He was surrounded by beautiful girls, telling a story about himself, and having them hanging off every word he said… and despite it all, Casey kept popping into his head. She was scolding him for acting so shallow, and stupid, and when he wasn't hearing her saying anything about that, what she had said in the house kept playing over in his head.

"Derek, my man!" his friend Jeff who had thrown the party, half slurred, coming up and clapping him on the back. Derek greeted him with a grin.

"'Nother game starting?" Derek inquired, turning away from the girls. Girls weren't really working for him tonight, maybe hockey could distract him. His friend noticed something a little off and questioned him as to what was going on. "Nothing, nothing. I'm just a little stressed about stuff… looking to forget about it for tonight, actually."

His buddy grinned. "You've come to the right place!" he said, putting him arm around Derek's shoulders and steering him into what had been the kitchen. "What's your poison? Beer, something a little stronger?"

Derek, taken slightly aback, put a hand up. "No thanks, man. I don't actually…" he stopped, seeing Jeff waiting expectantly. If he admitted that he had never actually had anything to drink before, he'd be mocked so badly and POOF, there would go his precious influence in the school. "- like that cheap shit parties usually have," he finished weakly.

Before he knew what was happening, Jeff was agreeing and telling him that he only served the best at his parties. He felt like he hadn't even blinked before a plastic cup filled with some liquid or another was shoved into his hand.

"Taste _that_ before you say anything bad about Jeff's stuff," Derek's slightly drunk friend winked at him.

_What the hell, bottoms up_, Derek thought bitterly. If it would help him to forget, he didn't care what he was drinking. With that he took a deep breath and a huge gulp.  
-

Casey curled up tightly in bed that night, with the slightest shiver. Derek hadn't shown up for dinner. She had waited up for an hour after she usually went to bed, thinking that maybe he would be home. He wouldn't miss their talk, would he? Apparently, she found out when she pulled back the blankets, he would.

She almost didn't know what to do when he didn't come home. She was angry, that was for sure. He was just overreacting, being a drama queen, that was all. Who cared if Sam carried her books? It didn't mean anything; he was just being nice because she had trouble with them. And as to what she had said to him… she had just been teasing him, why did he have to get so upset about it? It was nothing!

Yeah, she was pissed as all _hell…_wasn't she?

If she was so mad, then why did she have this little seed of guilt and worry which kept growing and rooting itself in her conscience? Maybe she shouldn't have snapped on him like that. He was really only looking out for her, or at least he thought so. He hadn't meant any harm… And really, did she have to go off and pull the jealousy card? That would piss anybody off- she surely should have known that he wouldn't be an exception. Now because of what she said, he was off god-knows where doing god-knows what. If something happened to him…

She would check one more time, she decided, climbing out of bed. It was past midnight by now… he was probably fast asleep in his bed, having figured she was too angry with him to come in and talk. She found herself hoping that she was right, that he really was home and everything would be okay, but when she slowly pushed his door open to check, she saw that she was wrong. He wasn't asleep in his bed, he wasn't even home.

She hugged herself, standing in his doorway biting back her tears. She knew that if she didn't pull herself together, she would be a sobbing mess on the floor in a matter of seconds. She just wasn't ready to handle this, not when he was the only one she had who understood. There was no one else she could go to, and she wasn't ready to be on her own again yet.

Her nails digging into her arms, and her legs a little shaky, she walked stiffly and slowly to his bed. She couldn't go back to her own; it seemed too cold and lonely in her room. At least here, she could still feel a trace of the warm energy his presence emitted.

With that in mind, Casey crawled into his bed and nuzzled into his pillow. Her body began to relax, and her eyes fluttered shut as his scent filled her nose. She was asleep in seconds, feeling as if she was wrapped up comfortingly in his arms and not just his blankets.

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**a/n:** Okay, I know this chapter was definitely _not_ the best and I'm sorry. Hopefully next chapter will be better… I just started school today and it's going to be hectic and I'm just praying I'll have enough time to write. Three AP classes and… lots of other crap. Plus volleyball after school until dinner time. First day of school and I had a two page essay to finish and hand in tomorrow! Okay, enough ranting.

Thank you readers and reviewers! I live for you guys! xP haha… Skip-Its for you all!

Remember, constructive criticism, favourite lines, things that could be better… all welcome! Flames will be used to … make those who flame dance ;-) And anyway, at this point in the story, if I got a flame I'd have to take it as some sort of measurement of your intelligence level…seeing as said person would have had to read through 8 chapters to get here…

Okay this a/n is way too long. I'M OVER AND OUT! (for now)

Ta!


	10. Crashing

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek… but I have a secret meeting with producer #1… It might go well- no, it WILL go well! Mwah ha ha!**

**Can I Help?**

_Crashing_

His head was pounding. No, worse; it felt like his skull was going to crack open and an evil little man was going to pop out from it. Not only that, but he felt nauseous to the nth degree. Whatever he had had to drink, it was never happening again. Although, it had accomplished what he had wanted to accomplish. He had forgotten all about Casey. In fact, he had forgotten …everything. He had no _idea_ what had happened last night after he'd taken that drink. All he knew was that when he had woken up, he was on an unfamiliar bedroom floor surrounded by trash, beer, and girls. Oh god help him.

He didn't know whether he should thank Jeff for helping him forget, or beat his brains out for giving him that drink, and god knows what else.

Derek didn't know what time it was when he dragged himself home, but he was sure that he had either missed school completely, or almost had. As soon as he opened the door, before he could even step _inside_, his hangover felt ten times worse.

"I hope you're happy Derek Venturi!" Casey cried from the top of the stairs, her tears and sobs making it hard for her to speak. "You're right, once again! You can do your little victory dance now; you win!"

Derek felt like he had been hit by a truck, but maybe that was the hangover. Either way, he was shocked and, frankly, scared shitless seeing her like this again. He could tell she was on the edge of just a normal sobbing and something much worse, and he could see her teetering.

"Case…" he said in as comforting and soft a voice he could, walking cautiously toward her. "Case, tell me what happened."

"Don't you come _near me!_" the sobbing girl shrieked, stepping back. "When I needed you, where were you? Huh? _Huh?_"

She looked like she was going to fall down, like her legs were going to break under her emotional weight.

"I'm here now, Case," he pleaded with her, taking the stairs slowly.

"Well that's not good enough! You're too late! It's too late!"

She looked like she had wanted to run into her room and lock the door, but her knees gave out and she couldn't. Derek was at her side catching her, before she even hit the ground. He held her close and she didn't fight because, deep down, she didn't really want to fight.

"It's never too late, Casey," he murmured into her hair. He picked her up in his arms and carried her to his room, gently placing her in his bed and kneeling on the floor next to it. "Now," he said, pushing her hair back from her face, seeing that she had calmed down enough, "What happened?"

She bit her lip and took a deep, shaky breath. "Sam asked me out."

Derek had to bite back the anger he felt rising up inside him. When he trusted himself to speak he said, "I know that's not all… What upsets you so much about him… asking you out?"

What she told him, in a quivering voice, always close to tears, made him want to run over to his best friend's house and break his fucking nose.

Casey had been dating Sam for going on three months when Sam had decided he was ready to take the next, and biggest, step in their relationship. Casey hadn't been so sure. She was a planner, always thinking and calculating consequences. All the things that could happen or go wrong… and she didn't know if Sam was really the right one.

But if there was one thing Sam was good at, it was persuading Casey. He would use his own unfailing logic and his subtle guilting… and before long, she had let him convince her that she was ready and that it was the right thing to do. The truth of her feelings came crashing down on her afterward, lying in bed naked. She had forced herself to ignore this truth, to make it go way. After all, she still had Sam, right?

The next day, Sam gave her a long speech, including an apology, about how they weren't right for each other and it was over. She had told him she was okay. She had told herself she was okay. Then a few days later, she had her first episode after Derek, speaking only about getting her angry, had said she was too easy.

"He did that to you and now he expects you to just forgive, forget, and go out with him again? I'll break his neck!" Derek half yelled, half growled. Casey was crying again.

"No! Derek, you don't understand… It's not his fault. It's not like he raped me- I didn't object, I let it happen. I even said I wanted to! See, it's my fault, not his!" she tried explaining, desperately.

"Casey…" he took her hand in both of his own. "Casey, this isn't your fault. He knew that you weren't ready. You made it known that you weren't, but he wouldn't accept that. He wasn't happy until he had talked you into doing something you didn't want to do. That's close enough to rape if you ask me."

"Derek… what if…what if he wants to do it more? I don't want to… but…" she couldn't finish. He knew what she was saying.

"Don't say yes," Derek said simply, as if it was the easiest solution in the world. The look on her face prompted him to ask, praying the answer was no, "You didn't already say you'd go out with him, did you?"

She looked away from him, sitting up now from when she had told her tale. "I had to, Derek…"

He dropped her hand as if it was riddled with a deadly virus and stood up, turning around, a hand in his hair. She agreed to go out with somebody who had practically raped her, but she wouldn't even think about giving the time of day to somebody who took care of her day and night if she needed him?

Suddenly his hangover was back full force and he was running to the bathroom, puking up everything he had eaten in the past day and wishing he could puke up this feeling inside of him. He threw up until he was too weak to even sit up on his own and he slouched against the bathtub right next to him. He groaned from the ache in his entire body, from his bones to his… heart.

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**a/n**: And here is the next chapter! Updates might not be quite as frequent soon, but I'm not giving up on this story! I enjoy writing it way too much. It's just that I have essays every day and all that jazz… well, anyway, I hope you liked the chapter… don't be a stranger- review :-)

Oh, and thank you to all my readers! Free cellphones with cool software to you all! Just don't let them involuntarily code your speech. :-P (Just watched Strange Days, sorry haha)

Ta!


	11. Epiphany

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek, back right to square one… Ohwell, I will never give up my dreams. :-)**

**Can I Help?**

_Epiphany_

"Derek?" Casey murmured in the doorway of the bathroom. Her expression held this certain helplessness which made him want to sweep her into his arms and fight off everything bad in the world. Instead, he just looked up at her, his eyes half closed with nausea and exhaustion.

"What is it, Case?" he asked her quietly. Something in his voice sounded defeated, crushed, but about what she didn't know.

"Please… please don't hate me, Derek," she whispered, unable to look at him.

He was so goddamn _frustrated!_ He had a strong urge to turn and yell 'FUCK YOU!' at her. He felt like he had a string tied to him and she held the other end. She did things and said things which made everything he had tried to do feel pointless and stupid, but no matter what he couldn't just do what part of him kept screaming at him to do. He couldn't yell at her and tell her how she kept making his job so _difficult_ by making stupid decisions like this. He couldn't just walk away right now and never look back.

He couldn't because… despite his best efforts to run away and forget, like he had tried so many times before, he realized something. He loved her. It wasn't some silly teenager 'Ooh, you're hot, let's date.' It was something so much more, so much deeper than that. And that was why no matter how hard things got, he couldn't just do the flakey, Derek thing and run away. No matter how much she hurt him or how stupid he thought she was being… he would stick by her. And help her. That was what he had promised to do that night and, no matter what, _that _was what he was going to do.

"Casey…" he waved her over. "Come here, Case."

She shuffled over to him, her movements shy and reserved, waiting to see what was going to happen. She looked so lost… How could she let this happen to her?

Derek couldn't bear to see her like this. He had never been able to. So despite the uneasiness in his stomach, he pulled her into his arms and caressed her hair. She didn't pull away; she melted into his arms as if he was her support and her other half, as if she would cease to exist without him.

"We'll fix this, Case. Don't worry. You need to tell him that you made a mistake and it's over."

He raised his hand, overruling the objection on its way to Casey's lips.

"I'll be there," he told her. "You won't have to do it alone." He rested his forehead against hers. "You need to do this… think about yourself, Case. Look at what he's helped turn you into- you're practically a puddle of mess in your stepbrother's arms on your bathroom floor; you're having breakdowns which result in broken mirrors and busted hands. Just imagine how much worse this could get if you don't break up with him and figure yourself out."

Casey pulled back, wiped at her teary eyes, and nodded. Then her eyes widened and she jumped out of the way when Derek groaned and dove for the toilet. His insides were twisting and turning, each organ working its way up his throat and through his mouth. At least, that was how it felt to him. He had always hated throwing up. As a kid, he used to cry whenever he started to and his mom would have to rub his back to get him to calm down.

Now tears invaded his eyes and he cursed himself for last night. What the _hell _did he have to drink? Then… he felt a gentle hand, comforting, rubbing small circles on his back. It seemed like it calmed his insides and his eyes dried a bit, until one last heave and there was absolutely nothing left in his stomach.

Casey was watching him with concern, her hand resting on his back, when, to her surprise, he started to laugh. She was about to question him, thinking that maybe he had finally broken under all the stress she had put him under, when, still in hysterics, he pointed into the nauseating sea of vomit.

"Oh my god," was all she could say before covering her mouth with her hand and surrendering herself to laughter as well.

On top of the solid/liquid mass, floating, was a dead goldfish.

-

Derek had just handed Casey her sandwich and sat down next to her on the couch when the phone rang. Wanting her to deal with nothing at the moment, he ignored his still slightly bothersome hangover and sprung up from the couch, yelling, "I got it!" despite how Casey and he were still the only ones home.

"Yello," Derek picked up the receiver in the kitchen.

"Oh Derek. Hey man," Sam's casual voice greeted him on the other line. "Could I speak with Casey for a sec?"

Derek had to grit his teeth and attempt a deep, cleansing breath (he'd heard that from something he'd caught Casey listening to a while ago) before he could trust himself to answer. By the second 'Hello?' from Sam, he knew that he was going to have to say something but he was unsure as to whether he could do so without verbally abusing his friend.

He glanced through the doorway over to Casey. She was laughing at something on TV. God, if he let Sam stay with her, when would be the next time he'd get to see her laugh like that? Derek almost lost his miniscule amount of control, when Casey looked over at him and smiled. Her smile was filled with such trust, such thanks… He had to do something, but it couldn't just be a bashing. He had to fix this.

"No, man," Derek finally answered, turning back into the kitchen. "I don't think so."

"Is she uh… not home?" Sam guessed, slightly confused.

"No. I just don't think she'd want to speak with you."

"Maybe she didn't tell you, but we got back together. It's okay, dude," Sam said, sounding as if he finally understood why Derek was being so weird.

"No, Sam… it's not okay," Derek sighed, "I think we need to talk…"

A few minutes later, Casey looked up at Derek with a grin left over from a funny part of the show.

"Who was it?" she inquired curiously.

"Nobody important, just somebody trying to sell something."

At least part of that was true, Derek figured, so I'm not really lying. Sam was trying to sell something all right. Yeah, that load of _bullshit_ that kept pouring from his mouth.

Casey gave him a look. "Must've been one rude telemarketer," she joked, gently poking at his frowning face. Derek couldn't stop the sloppy grin from taking the frown's place. There was just something about her, something about seeing her so content like this… It just constantly made him want to smile and protect her and keep anything from taking her smile away.

With that thought, he slung his arm around her, claiming her and warning anything else that if it wanted to mess with her, it would have to kill him first.

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**a/n:** Okay, first off- I'm so sorry for the wait, but I've been sorta swamped with things. And second- I've finally figured out what I'm doing with the story. I've decided that I'm splitting it into two parts. It's not going to be like one story and a _sequel_… it's more like Kill Bill vol. 1&2… the continuation of the story. Yeah, so the next chapter will be the last chapter of Part I… then there'll probably be a small time gap (in posting) before Part II comes out, but it won't be long, so don't wander away to never come back! I just want to get a few chapters written/read-over/etc before I start posting. Uh…yeah.

So enough rambling, hope you enjoyed the chapter… don't forget to review- it makes me happy :-)  
Speaking of- thank you to all of you out there who read and review! Fresh brownies for everybody, and two for all those regular reviewers out there! 3  
Ta:-D


	12. Freedom

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek… but I will never give up my dreams!**

**a/n: **Before anything, I just want to say thank you to all of you who have made it this far! This chapter will be the end of Part One of the story, and just for you guys, it's nice and long :-P I hope you enjoy! See you on the other side. :-)

**Can I Help?**

_Freedom_

It was the next day at school and Derek's pounding headache from the day before had finally gone away. The night before, Casey, like almost every night before that, had crawled onto his bed with him. This time, however, they discussed him. He talked about what had happened to him the night he had stormed out- the parts that he remembered, anyway. He told her how he had been so angry and had been unable to figure out why, so he decided to do things the Derek way again and blow it off. At that she had said, "What, and drinking your problems away is the Derek way?" He just shook his head and looked down.

She apologized to him and when he looked up again, he could see in her eyes that she sincerely meant it; she had just been upset, with an aftermath of worry, when she had snapped at him. He murmured that it was okay and continued, telling her that he really couldn't remember anything that had happened to him that night and that that fact worried him. Especially, he added, when he had woken up in such odd circumstance.

Casey managed to hold her scolding and try to be understanding. By now she knew that Derek really wasn't the kind of guy to go off and do such stupid things regularly. She knew that he did not need her yelling at him right now; she could see in his eyes that he was beating himself up enough. And he really did look scared about not remembering what went on that night. She couldn't blame him… she understood that losing control of oneself was nothing to enjoy, and losing control and then remembering nothing about it… well, she could hardly even imagine how terrible that must feel.

For once in their strange, whatever-it-was relationship, Casey found herself holding and comforting Derek. At one point she could have even sworn that she had heard him crying softly. But somehow, Derek noticed as she was leaving, at the end of the night she looked as content as she did when she spent the night venting. It was as if being able to help him in turn helped her. For some reason, he found the notion somewhat…relieving.

Now in school, he was waiting casually for her before French. He knew that she usually ran into Sam around now and he didn't want her to do so alone. He didn't think she was ready for Sam on her own, and god knew what Sam was going to say to her after Derek had talked to him.

Derek had told him that Casey had asked Derek to tell Sam, because she didn't want Sam to get hurt and she figured that if Derek broke it to him, it would be easier. He had said that Casey was not at the point in her life in which she could have a boyfriend. She was incredibly sorry that she had gotten his hopes up, but on the spot like that she couldn't find a way to tell him how she really felt. The truth was that right now she was having some difficulties in her life and she needed time to figure them out- without anybody else to worry about. Everything he had said had been true and, in a perfect world, Casey would have said them to Sam herself, but Derek knew that, at least for now, she couldn't.

"Hey stranger," Casey came up and greeted him, startling him out of his thoughts. Derek could tell by the smile adorning her face that she hadn't seen Sam yet. He silently thanked whoever was out there looking out for him and began walking with her to class, about to strike up a conversation.

"Case! Hey, Case, wait up!" Sam called from down the hall. Derek exhaled in frustration, looking up at the ceiling. He had spoken too early. He wanted to hit something, but as soon as he saw the look of panic on Casey's face he came back to himself.

"Do you think you're ready for this, babe?" he asked her, eye level with his hands on her shoulders. The nickname had slipped out naturally without intention and he was relieved to see that she hadn't noticed it in her dread towards talking to her ex-boyfriend.

Casey wasn't even looking at him. She just stared, her eyes wide, down the hall where Sam was getting closer and closer. All she could think was that as soon as he opened his mouth, she'd be liquefied and in his arms again. She knew that that wasn't what was right for her… and she knew that that was what would happen.

Derek placed his hand on her cheek and moved her face to look straight ahead at him. "Case… are you ready to talk to him?" he repeated.

She shook her head vigorously, her nails unknowingly digging into her palms. He straightened her fingers, holding her hands in his, unable to tear his eyes from hers.

"Casey, I need to talk to you," Sam said, looking at her without seeing Derek at first. Seeing her hands in Derek's he gave him a questioning glance, then a suspicious one. "Wait… first… did you ask Derek to talk to me?"

The look of confusion on Casey's face answered for her and he glared at Derek. Derek promptly went to drop Casey's hands, finally realizing that he had never done so, until he felt Casey's grip tighten on his left, now holding his one hand back.

Sam looked enlightened now, as if he was going to shout out 'I get it now!' He felt betrayed, deciding that Derek must have been lying to him, that he must have just been trying to break the two of them up for his own selfish reasons. However, instead of voicing this, he turned to Casey, ignoring Derek, "Can we talk? Alone?"

Casey kept her ground, giving off the appearance of a confident, strong woman. Nobody but Derek could see that she was really a nervous wreck, terrified of giving in to Sam. Derek couldn't stop himself from giving her hand a slight squeeze to remind her that she wasn't alone this time.

Sam took her unmoving stance as a no and continued talking, with some hope, "So… if you didn't tell Derek to talk to me yesterday… we're not broken up, right? We're still together?"

Casey studied the ground in front of Sam's feet. "No, Sam… we're… we're not together."

She knew she couldn't look up; she couldn't look at his face. He would look hurt and confused, and she couldn't bear to see him like that- especially because of her. She didn't want to hurt him, no matter how much _Derek_ did. So, if she tore her eyes from the floor and to his face, she'd take it back. She would push away how she felt, convince herself that she was fine, and act it in public. She'd tell him to forget what she had said, to forget what Derek had said (despite how she really didn't know what Derek had said, or when he had said it), and that everything would be fine. They could go out.

And so, when Sam asked the question Casey had dreaded, yet knew he would ask… she stumbled and couldn't find an answer.

"But… why?" Sam searched for answers, trying to read her and figure out what exactly was going on. Because, no matter what he had unintentionally done to her, it had been just that- unintentional. He hadn't wished her any harm. He hadn't even meant to talk her into something she didn't want; he just didn't understand how she couldn't want it, and tried to explain to her why _he_ did and, indirectly, why she should. And, when it came down to it, he thought that he loved her and hadn't even known that he had hurt her because she had always said that she was fine.

Casey went into panic mode and looked up and saw the confusion and pain on Sam's face. All he wanted was an answer, she kept telling herself, but really she kept feeling that that wasn't all. He wanted more; he wanted her to say that there was no reason, so, in fact, they should be together. She didn't know what to do, because suddenly all of the reasons, all of the things she knew and felt, all flew from her brain and down the hall to some locked classroom. The words she loathed almost slipped from her mouth when Derek, seeing what was happening inside her head, stepped in.

"Sam, man… what I told you on the phone- that's why. I didn't lie. I didn't add anything to make it fancy. It was the truth and it was why," he told Sam, his voice low in the now quiet hallway. "Now please… please, just leave her alone." He sounded tired, like he just wanted this to be over, and he did, he was.

Sam was shaking his head, like he couldn't comprehend what Derek had said, like he _wouldn't_ comprehend it. "No," he said, caught between pleading and demanding. "No, I need to hear it from Casey. Casey, I know you've got words. Tell me why. Don't have your- your _bodyguard_ do it for you. _You_ tell me why we're over. Don't you remember how great we were?"

Casey took a deep breath, once again staring at the tile floor. "Sam…" she started, softly. She paused, closed her eyes, tried to find all those words she supposedly had. She knew she had to say something, but she couldn't find what. All she could think was: _You hurt me._ Over and over and over. It repeated in her head and blocked all other explanation, all other thoughts.

"You hurt me…" she muttered, not realizing she had spoken out loud, only hearing it again and again in her mind. It wasn't until an angry and surprised '_What_?' had come from Sam that she saw that it was finally out. And suddenly she felt a little bit better. It was out, it was real, concrete. He hurt her. She finally found her strength, her confidence.

"You hurt me," Casey spoke quietly, repeating her words, hearing herself. But there was punch behind the words now. They were firm and secure. She gently let go of Derek's hand. "You convinced me I was always wrong. You told me you loved me how I was, then manipulated me to be the way you wanted me. You made me afraid that everything I believed was wrong. You turned me into somebody without my own opinion, because I was always told what I was _supposed_ to think by you. You broke me, Sam."

She wasn't looking at the floor anymore. She spoke, gazing in his face but not really seeing it- only seeing the words she spoke, as if for the first time. Because, really, it was the first time she let herself know them.

"That," she finished strongly, staring him straight in the eye, "is why we can't be together."

Sam could only stare at her, hearing her words but unable to believe them. He hadn't done that; he would never hurt her like that…. Right? Angry at her accusations and bewildered at why he now questioned himself, he turned and ran, leaving the building.

Derek watched her, watched her glow, watched her strength radiating from her body, and he smiled. Pride shone on his face as he stood with his hands in his pockets and his eyes on her. She turned to him and couldn't stop her smile. She had put her foot down; she had come to terms, told him how she felt, and she was _okay_.

"Derek," Casey breathed, disbelieving. She continued in almost a ramble, in the same tone, laced with excitement. "Derek, I did it… Oh my god, I did it…I- I didn't even know… I didn't realize that I even felt like that until the words were pouring out of my mouth and I couldn't stop them because, for once, they were the truth and- and…"

She stopped. Derek, who had been looking at the floor, unable to keep this feeling of finality away, now let his eyes flit up to hers. A smile graced her lips and there was a certain grace and satisfaction about her that he had never seen before. Beautiful, he scoffed to himself, beautiful does not even begin to describe her. He couldn't find a word strong enough to illustrate how she seemed to him at that moment. Divine, he decided. She seemed like she would be perfectly at home on Olympus- she was a goddess.

"Thank you, Derek," she still spoke softly in the empty hallway, but there was now power in her words. They weren't wimpy and empty, the way he now recognized she had been speaking for a long time.

Derek shook his head, a half smile on his face. "Why thank me? I haven't really done anything, Case," he told her, glancing between the floor and her.

"You gave me the strength I needed and you saw when I needed help without me telling you. That's more than anybody has ever really done for me." Her eyes were kind; there was just something enchanting about her.

Derek gave one of his sloppy smiles, but couldn't keep the sadness from leeching into his eyes. "I guess this means you don't really need me anymore, eh?" he gave voice to the emotions behind the hazel orbs, unable to look at her again.

Without warning, Casey punched him in the arm. "You're an idiot, Venturi," she told him, faux annoyance, in her old typical talking-to-Derek voice.

Derek rubbed his arm, muttering, "Hell of a right hook, Case…" looking hurt and, deep down, disappointed that maybe things would go right back to classic Casey-Derek and the past few weeks would be forgotten.

"What are you two doing? Get to class!" a passing teacher barked, startling them both. They had forgotten they were even in the school, let alone that class was going on right now.

"I'll just…go to class then…" Derek mumbled, turning to follow the teacher's orders and feeling very un-Derek and self conscious.

Casey laughed, took his face in both her hands before he could leave, and kissed him gently on the forehead. He felt as if time stood still and past the shock, he closed his eyes and let himself disappear into this beautiful moment in which he was kissed by this goddess in front of him. He didn't care that it was only on the forehead; it was what it stood for that mattered. Things weren't just going back to normal.

She pulled away and admired the look of shock and exaltation on his face, then took his arm and began on to class. As the shock wore off, he couldn't keep himself from asking, hesitantly, "What did that mean, Case?"

Casey smirked and nudged him gently. "Didn't your mother teach you not to question a good thing?"

END PART ONE.

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**a/n**: Okay, that's it for this part… but do not panic, there will be more! The time gap between parts all depends on how badly you want it, and how many reviews show it xP  
Oh, and I'm going to post Part Two separately, so don't look back here for the next chapter... You can check my homepage thing for when I post Part Two... and if worst comes to worst, I'll put the link in this author note once I post, okay? Hmm, this is exciting.  
:-P

I thank you all for reading and reviewing, and hopefully enjoying, my story. I give pretty bouquets of flowers to each one of you:-)

Hopefully I'll see you all again for Part Two xD

Ta!

_**PART TWO ALERT!**_

**_Part two of this story is now up. It can be found at:_** for you, my darlings :-P


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